she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
