So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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