She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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