She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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