I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
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Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
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You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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