Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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