You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
