your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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