I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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