remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So. Much. Porn.
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