i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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