I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
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do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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