It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
