i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
