I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
