I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
