Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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