I think I died a long time ago.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
