I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
