yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
