No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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