Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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