it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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