Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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