It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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