So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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