bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
