are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
