Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
