I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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