So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
