Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
