i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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