think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
