Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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