Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
