we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
