Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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