Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
