Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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