Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize
