If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
