In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
