Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
