I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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