So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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