i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize