you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
