they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
