Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
