Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
