Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
