I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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