I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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