the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
