Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
