she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
They took my balls.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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