Porn is love you can see.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
