i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I need to sanitize my soul.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
