She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
