His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
