My Higher Power is John Stamos
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
