I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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