And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
